Eurovision

Eurovision. Heard of it? Likely not, so allow me to encapsulate its essence: it is a Frankensteinian mix of "Pop/Insert your country name here Idol" and "Rocky Horror Picture Show" during which European countries send D-list talents to a "music" competition for national bragging rights. And, cursed fate, it is in Helsinki this year, and I badly wish I could be around for it; even if I can't attend any performances, the atmosphere of the city takes on a decidedly more, ahem, fabulous mood. That's right, just like Andy, Eurovision is a phenomenon in the gay community, and the acts reflect this. As I see it, most acts fit neatly into four categories: outrageously gay, super-hot girl, genuine musicians (a distinct minority), or the outrageously gay man trying to preserve record sales by appearing ostensibly straight by having super hot backing dancers. At the risk of feeling like the sorting hat from Harry Pottery, here are some of this year's contestants, pictures via The Guardian:

First, the flamboyantly gay:
Second, the super-duper hotness:


Finally, the "I swear to God I'm not gay" contingent:

Oh, and I didn't include the actual artists, because they want to be judged on their music, not their looks. Fair enough, I say.