Gaylord Focker is an Indian name?

As I’m sure my sister is quite tired of hearing, I love to cook these days. Most days I’m cooking up two of my daily meals, and as the cooking equipment in our building is sub-prison standard, I own all my own pots, pans, wooden spoons, knives, cutting boards, and so on. I even have my own private sponges just so nothing I own has to intermingle with anybody’s else stuff here. Yuck.

Despite being fairly novice in cooking, I think I’ve done alright for myself, and have even started experimenting with my own dishes. I’ve picked out a few tasty ones online though, like Salmon in an orange, red onion and caper sauce. And yesterday I had some good chicken breasts that had been covered in sautéed red onions, garlic and yellow bell peppers and rubbed with chicken stock powder before being all put into the oven to bake. Yum. Even my morning porridge (same thing as oatmeal) now features a freshly made Apple Cinnamon Brown Sugar variation, with freshly diced apples seared, to which is seasoned in brown sugar I caramelize while shaking in a generous dose of cinnamon before mixing in the porridge, milk, and water to bring it to perfection. Excellent.

Last night I had pizza, and although I was too lazy to make the crust, I did make the sauce out of canned peeled tomatoes and tomato paste, which I then cook and season. The whole operation is covered with red onions, artichokes and mozzarella. And it is actually this mozzarella that I find most fascinating. I buy all my cheeses from Neal’s Yard Dairy, and the extra expense is worth it; this is easily the best mozzarella I’ve ever had. Their cheese has me agog, quite frankly. The mozzarella I bought cost $10 for a ball smaller than my fist. But here’s the thing: it is made from buffalo milk on a farm just outside of Naples, and is airlifted to London three times a week. That’s some impressive credentials for a cheese. I think the mozzarella can also speak four languages.
The only thing is that now I can’t shake the image of Gaylord Focker milking a mommy buffalo. I didn’t know buffalos could be milk, actually. But as we all know, the Indians never wasted any part of the buffalo, so I think Gaylord is now an honorary Native American. I reckon Buffalo Teetmilker sounds about right, as far as tribal names go.