"There have been rumors on the internets"

One site I make sure to read up on whenever possible is my friend Brian's blog, who is currently based in the idyllic town of Pocatello, Idaho. He was noticing that I keep getting wonderful spam comments on my three day old blog. Those bastards move fast. Maybe if they slowed down, took a deep breath, they wouldn't make so many grammatical mistakes, such as this one: “Don't miss visiting this site about how to buy & sell snowboarding on interest free credit; pay whenever you want.” Oh, really, you can show me how to buy and sell snowboarding? Could you sell me some running, because I've been too lazy to get out and jog on my own recently, and it really would just be easier to buy some from you guys. Actually, it looks like I'm a little short on money right now, maybe I could just trade you some spelling.

What is puzzling to me, however, is how they decide that I am the perfect market for their products. As far as I can tell, these spammers think that I am a Jewish horse-lover who currently has bad credit. Or maybe my horse has bad credit, I can't be sure.

Actually, this whole "horse-lover" tag has me sort of freaked out. Given recent news reports out of Washington (which borders Idaho, my home state) I'm not entirely comfortable being labeled as a horse lover. Oh, and for those of you who think your job is tough to stomach, imagine yourself as the cop who has to pore over hundreds of hours of videotaped evidence. I have to admit, though, that this passage absolutely had me in stitches:

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The moral in all this? It’s okay to get your bone on with animals…just don’t be a bully about it, okay? I think Aesop really missed the boat by not including this one in his fables...