A charged atmosphere

Part of my workday was spent discussing how to negotiate billing issues with customers, and we, quite hilariously, were given a sheet of steps to follow. The final, most comical step was this: "delight with options." Now that I have an mandate to delight our customers, I can't wait to help people out again. This is how I anticipate my next interaction to shake out:

Customer (angry): I have a problem with my bill. You guys overcharged me for my service last month.

Andy (seductive, with Barry White's "I'm qualified to satisfy you" playing in background): Ooooh baby, you get me overcharged with your passionate voice. Do you have any of that spicy Latino blood in you?

Customer (taken aback): What?

Andy: Aw, come on now...don't play so coy. You're the one who called me up, remember? I knew you couldn't stay away for long, I knew my number was hidden away in your nightstand...haunting you, beckoning you with its siren song. You can say what you want, but we both know why you're calling me at 1 in the afternoon while you're hubbie is away at work...a little afternoon delight on your mind, perchance? Just cool out honeybunny, I'll justify your love.

Customer (regaining composure and anger in equal measure): You need to give me your supervisor right now.

Andy: So you want the boss man, yeah? Into the master/servant stuff, it seems. Don't fret pretty mama, I can get kinky like that if that is what it takes to satisfy; I'll dominate your pleasure zones and supervise your climax. Just relax and let Andy give you a few things to think about, because I'm about to make your account blow up with the awesomeness that only I can bring. How about this...I can set you up with butterfly kisses. How about foot massage? I've got some sensual oils I can bring by later, would that delight you? Hmm? Are these options delighting you yet, or should I tease on?

Customer: click

Andy: Honey, you there? Can you hear me now? Did I delight you with options and catapult you into the exalted realm of sheer ecstasy?