The prophecy has been fulfilled!

Any Harry Potter fans out there? Do you recall the prophecies made by Professor Trelawney, and how she tends to slip into a trance-like state as the rare bit of true soothsaying comes tumbling out of her? Apparently, I experienced the exact same thing myself.

It's been, oh, two years now since I was at a bar in Portland, Oregon, with some friends, enjoying a few drinks. All at once a lunatic's calm came over me, and I felt compelled to take out my cell phone and dial up my US Senator from Idaho (where I'm registered to vote), Larry Craig. In a drunken stupor, I left the following message on his voicemail: "Dear Senator Craig, you are gay. Sincerely, you constituent."

Why I needed to do this, I didn't understand at the time, but it has all been revealed to me now. I wasn't just making a joke designed to zing the notoriously conservative and homophobic Idaho political establishment. No, it was much more than that. I was much more than that. Blinded by alcohol though I may have been, the deeper workings of the universe were made plain to me; I was a modern-day Teiresias. Why, you may ask? What is the terrible and beautiful truth that I foretold that has now become manifest? Well, it turns out that Senator Craig is, indeed, gay-o-rama.