Red Rain

Anyone familiar with Peter Gabriel's Red Rain? It's a great song, covered (in part) fantastically by R.E.M. One of the lyrics near the end goes thusly:

I come to you, defences down
With the trust of a child

Last Friday we were at my man Ross's house, enjoying a few drinks and some food, when Richard decided he needed to warm up some spicy soup in the microwave. Let me back up for a moment to set the scene: Ross's microwave is perched on top of his refrigerator, like some sort of electronic god on Mount Olympus, so Richard had to approach it almost as a supplicant with his soup. In his stupefied state, his only apparent plan of attack was to randomly stab at the buttons on front, mashing them in hope that his soup would heat up on its own accord. In a stunning display of situational awareness and intelligence, the microwave rendered judgement on Richard, and the phrase "Child" began to blink on the front of the screen in green letters. The room froze. You could feel the seething disgust roiling off the microwave, and the awkwardness this caused.

It could be worse, I suppose. At least it didn't label him "Sexually Inadequate".