Can't make the gay stay away

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I have a really bizarre cosmic connection to gayness. My relative gay-osity is the stuff of legends, and I am know to most of my friends as the "gayest straight man alive". Or probably even dead, for that matter. I've lost count of the number of people I've come across who have assumed I was gay, just like I've lost count of the number of gay men who seem to be attracted to me. I honestly don't understand it; it just seems to happen.

Last night, after spending most of the day in the computer lab at my residence hall, I was just packing up my belongings when I noticed that someone was standing right behind me. It was a guy I sort of know, so I talked to him for a few minutes, and seeing as how he just got back from a trip, I asked how it went. Twenty seconds of chit-chat or so later, I left go upstairs to get ready for bed. As I began my ascent, I heard a voice call out my name; looking back, it was the same guy. He came up the stairs towards me, and he seemed sort of nervous and uncomfortable, and when another student passed on the stairs, he got quiet until he passed. My first thought was that he was going to ask if I had any drugs I could sell him.

Oh, if only that was what this was about.

He sort of hems and haws for a bit, and after some to-oing and fro-oing, he finally asks if I am bisexual or gay. Now, I was pretty positive that this guy is straight, and seeing how I am so used to people thinking I'm gay, I never figured he was picking up on me. Turns out that he heard through the grapevine I was gay, and he didn't quite believe it, so he decided to find out for himself. That, and I think he was also trying to give me the heads up concerning the word on the street so I would have a chance to clear my name.

Here's the thing, though: this guy and most of the people he spends time with are exchange students who are here only one semester, and I unfortunately haven't spend much time at all around most of them. Most of my friends are one-year or more students who have been here since last semester, at least, and all of them know I'm straight. So I find it very odd that they would be talking about me, full stop, let alone talking about my sexual preferences. I honestly don’t know where people get this stuff; it’s not like I’m mincing around Byng Place and trying to grab guy’s butts.

Here's the capper, though. When I asked him, "so, who exactly told you I was gay? Who thinks that?"

His response?

"Well, everyone."