Bridget Jones's diary

Well, the scales have finally tipped. I did what I could, fought a valiant battle in trying to stave it off as long as possible, but on this last Valentine's Day, my true nature was finally revealed to me. It's sad to say, but I have crossed over into Bridget Jones territory: I'm single, not quite as fit as I used to be, and my salad days are clearly behind me as I hurtle towards middle-age.

But since misery loves company, I thankfully had someone to share the night with: Richard. Romantic, yes? He had an insightful perspective on this day that I quite agree with. After Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, and now Valentine's, we've just been bombarded with many holidays, packed into a short time-frame, that are associated with spending time with your loved ones. And guess what? That makes a big 0 for 4 on recent holidays. God forbid either one of us had a birthday during that streak.

And after living through all these holidays, what can we say? We get it. Okay? Fine? We know we're sadsacks. We've been beaten down. We submit. Jesus, can we get a bleedin' break already?Any more holidays on the horizon to really hammer the point that we're lonely hearts? Any more holidays that take place during the winter so we feel trapped in our homes by ourselves?

I think I really came to terms with how objectively low we were when I looked at the two of us while we watched a performance of Hamlet on video. But which of us was in worse shape? I've tried to devise a quick scoring system that breaks down our Valentine's eve along a handful of categories.

Evening festivities:
While we both spent the night watching videos, I did manage to not cry myself to sleep like I anticipated, so I'm counting this as a victory for me. WINNER: Andy

Attire:
Richard was dressed in regular clothing, while I was sitting around in my pajamas. If that wasn't degrading enough, I happened to be wearing Incredible Hulk pajamas. And I couldn't be arsed to put my contacts in, so I was sitting around in my ancient glasses. WINNER: Richard.

Refreshments:
This is a tough call. Richard was drinking beer, while I was gorging myself on Lucky Charms cereal. Is it worse to get drunk or stuff your face on Valentine's Day? Actually, I have to admit that it wasn't Lucky Charms-I can't afford cereal of that high quality. Instead it was generic Lucky Charms, the ones that come in the giant bag from Malt-o-Meal. Richard, in contrast, was drinking name brand beer. WINNER: Richard.

Well, that about covers it. It looked like it would be a tie, but I pipped him at the post. Thank God we have a bit of free time until the next major "love" holiday. I can handle President's Day, Labor Day, and the Fourth of July, but I'm already dreading the Fall/Winter lineup of holidays again.