Why the Brits might lock me up for visiting Fort Hall Reservation

Anyone who has travelled abroad knows that local laws can be wacky, and sometimes a little bit disconcerting. I've had Hungarian police randomly stop me on the street to check my papers (this was a bit unusual, in that they mainly harass dark-skinned people, primarily the Roma [Gypsy] population) and Italian customs agents disappear with my passport into a different room. I've had Slovakian train agents, on two separate occasions, try to fine several friends (and even try to take an ATM card from one guy) for having their feet on a seat.

Most comical to me was my experience on the international ticketing platform at the main train station in Bucharest while getting a price quote for a ticket to Istanbul. I needed to get an exact amount so I could go back out to the main hall and go to the ATM. As I walked out, however, I was stopped by two cops who pointed to a sign on the wall and started speaking Romanian to me. Romanian can be vaguely similar to Spanish in construction, so as I strained to understand them I thought I caught a word that was a cognate to a Spanish word. Aha! I thought my spanish studies would actually pay off in the real world. Apparently they weren't talking about the bathroom like I thought, because when I tried to leave they physically restrained me. Turns out they have a wacky law that if you enter the international platform, it actually is a crime to leave the international platform unless you buy a ticket out of the country. What. The. Fook. Anyway, some 30,000 Romanian Lei lighter (I think this was a little over a dollar at the time), I was on my way to the ATM and back to buy my ticket. This time I made sure to wave my ticket in their face to avoid any more international intrigue.

Anyway, the point of all this is a new law being proposed out here in England which has me a bit concerned for my early July activities next summer. Seems the government is making it a crime to "glorify" any terrorist act from the past two decades in an effort to calm tensions and increase the peace, so to speak. Now, I could go off on a long tangent about how this is an interesting case study to an American studying in Britain, particularly because of our culture of free speech, British traditions, American laws against inciting speech, and so on. But I'll get to the relevant part:

But the small print of the draft terrorism bill published yesterday shows that the home secretary is preparing to go even further and draw up a list of historical terrorist acts which if "glorified" could mean a criminal offence being committed.

Hmm, anyone out there know any "terrorist" acts that America has historically committed against Britain? So, yeah, guys...uh...July 4th? Um, nothing significant about that date to me...

Looking at some of the provisions listed in the article, I can see a few sticking points for enjoying July 4 in the typical American tradition of drunken buffoonery:

Preparing terrorist acts and training: Carries a life sentence. Anyone involved in instruction concerning using "noxious substances" or adapting any techniques for use in terrorism will face a 10-year sentence. An offence of "attending a terrorist training camp" anywhere in the world will also carry a prison sentence of up to 10 years

Ouch. Let's see, have I done any training or acted with anything that could be adapted to terrorism. Attended "any terrorist training camps"? Let's see, those are usually out in some hot, dry, desolate, poor part of some country right? Usually surrounded by mountains? A place where you can get your hands on some illegal munitions? Uh oh. That all sounds like the illegal fireworks stands out on Fort Hall. Damnit. And guess what everyone? Guess who turned me on to Fort Hall fireworks last year? Gregg, who we have already established has ties to terrorism. Talk about falling in with the wrong crowd...

However, there is some hope for me in this passage:

Supergrasses: Sentence discount of up to 60% to give incentive to divulge information.

You hear that Kemp? If the British bobbies come looking for me, I'm ratting you out. Sorry old chum. Tough break. On the upside, it sounds like I get some sort of "supergrass" for singing like a canary. "I was gonna go to jail for terrorism, but then I got high..."