I want to be a Princess...of crime!!

I've heard a lot of people bellyaching about the sissification of toys these days, and I have to admit that I have occasionally bemoaned the lamentable state of current playthings. As someone weened on the violence of He-Man, Thundercats, GI Joe, pro wrestling and the Transformers, I figured most current toys were making kids insufferable wimps. I have to admit, however, that I have been sadly misguided. Modern toys aren't making kids pansies; they are, rather, turning children into sophisticated criminals, which is a major step up from the brainless thuggery that was the hallmark of my old toys.

How else to explain the fact that Playmobil sells a bank counter set that can be bought alongside a getaway car? When I was a kid, if you played with GI Joe the worst that could happen was that you would end up joining the US military and helping to defend your country. If you watched He-Man or pro wrestling, you would likely end up hanging around fetish gay bars later in life, but that is perfectly fine. With these sets, though, you can't help but knocking over the nearest credit union when you grow up. Check out that bank set, one person clearly comes with a big black loot bag. Now look closely at some of the pics of the getaway car. It looks like Bizarro Miami Vice, where Crockett and Tubbs decided they had seen too much money being thrown around by the bad guys and decided to become crooked cops. One of them even comes with a gun! Hell yeah, crime pays playboy!

But I think my favorite set is the airport security checkpoint. I love how friendly those guys look, presumably because it is just a white lady coming through. Or maybe they are laughing about the dark-skinned guy they have locked up naked in one of their offices. I guess the airport racial profiling set comes out later. Let's hope it gets here before Christmas, then we can all practice how to get past airport security!