A bad trip

Well, the Winco employees were most certainly glad to see me leave their store today. In less than ten minutes I managed to bounce a glass bottle of pomegranate juice off an elderly lady's foot, breaking it all over the floor. And then while checking out I stepped on the toes of the check-out lady right behind me. When I apologized to her, I told her it had been a bad day for me in their store, telling her that I also broke some juice in the produce section. Her response? "Oh, so you're the one!"

Come in with the milk

You've all seen the Aviator, yeah? With Howard Hughes slipping into repetitive loops of language? Does that happen to anybody else out there? When things need be done I tend to say something over and over again, usually along the lines of "Gotta get rye bread, gotta get rye, gotta get rye."

Well, it happened again today, but the fabulous part was that I was getting my laundry sorted for wash day. The most pressing issue was doing my white t-shirts and socks, so I was repeating this mandate time and again. But because I tend to talk in marginally sensical slang sometimes, what came out of my mouth was this: "...gotta blow up the whites, gotta blow up the whites, gotta make those whites blow up..."

I imagine if anyone heard me I probaby some like sort of race traitor about to send out mail bombs to other white people.

Tony

So I need some new shoes for fall. I need a touch of class in my wardrobe, since all I have right now are garishly bright sneakers and massive, ugly hiking boots. Time to get some tony new footwear in Portland this weekend. Anyone up for some hot shopping action?

Dirge

Part of growing up is facing the fact that some people from your core group of friends will splinter off as they start their own families. Three days ago I had to say goodbye to my closest friend here in Eugene, as it seemed like she would be starting her own family at some point in the near future. Who is this mystery woman? The spider who lived in my bathroom since I moved in.

For the last few weeks she has been above my mirror every single morning, and while occasionally she'll move over near the toilet or by the shower, she always returned to the corner by the sink. It was rather nice, in a way, to know somebody was waiting at home for me each day, but as the season turns to winter, I feared she would decide to lay a sack of spider eggs somewhere and I would be overrun with little kiddies everywhere. Since I still live like a homeless man and sleep on the floor (I have no bed), the idea of potentially hundreds of tiny spiders running around was a bit too much to stomach. So I decided to release her into the wild and put her out in the bushes.

It was actually kind of a touching goodbye. I think she knew I was sending her off to greener pastures, because when it came time to gather her up she was suddenly gone, and I had to search until I found her hiding on my shower sponge.

So this is what is sounds like...when doves cry!