Enough already!!

Alright alright, I'll stop constantly posting youtube clips after this, but in the meantime I've been obsessed with all sorts of animals recently, especially since BBC had Bear Week on the other day. The octopus remains my favorite, but man, I've been on a huge big cat kick recently.

So why do I love the octopus? Man, what isn't to love? First of all, they are capable of reciprocating my love; that's right, the octopus is reputed to be able to exhibit love and caring. It also has complete control of its body color, texture, and shape, allowing it to fit through almost any opening. Even a quite large octopus can go through any opening as small as a quarter. Additionally, it can change its color and contours to blend in perfectly with its environment in under 1 second. By comparison, the chameleon can take three minutes to change color. Oh, and did I mention that among the thousands of color and shape transformations it makes each day it possesses bioluminesence? It can put on bright bursts of light and color at will.They are also highly intelligent, able to learn and solve basic problems, and are entirely badass. Watch this shark get the whammy put on him. Note how fast he changes shape and texture. Here is another video that I'm not entirely sure is legitimate. The consensus seems to be that it is real, but I haven't seen any independent verification of that myself, so be advised it may be fake. Still, having seen other octopus videos I would not be too surprised if it was real, since this display is on par with what I've seen elsewhere.

Ok, what about big cats? Well, I love to watch their speed and power while hunting, honestly. If you want a brief moment of terror, put yourself in this guy's shoes. Apparently riding on an elephant doesn't protect you from tigers, and neither does throwing sticks at them when they are charging full steam ahead. FYI dude, if a hungry croc can't handle a tiger, don't bother throwing twigs at them, okay? And finally, I think I just love the music choice in this video. The last fifteen seconds of the video are absolutely ridiculous. Smack my bitch up? Awesome, considering how the lionesses got rolled up earlier, only for the big boss to eventually come through for them. As the myspace generation might say, "OMG WTF hyenas, pwned LOL!1!!!11!!

The scourge of the skies

I love how over the top this poster about pigeons is. (Click to enlarge)

No direction home

In lieu of actual substantive content, I find that a good cheat for updating my blog is to simply to link to other things of interest. Hopefully I'll be having more things worth posting up shortly, but this week is hectic for me. My housing runs out in less than a week, and I am facing the prospect of homelessness in the near future. In addition, I am still unemployed, severely restricting my housing options in a city where a reasonably-priced single room flat near the city centre is anything under $300 a week. On top of this, I haven't been back to the US since Christmas, and with my Dad being ill, I'd like the chance to visit. My solution, albeit a temporary one, is to roll back to the US for at least a few weeks in mid-September. This stay will give me a chance to catch up with everyone and work on my PhD applications for next year, as well as continue to apply for jobs online with an eye towards returning to London sometimes this fall. So keep your eyes open for me, everyone, since you never know when I'll show up in your borough.

Anyway, yeah, this was meant to be a mix tape to follow up my previous one, and isntead of being 1980's focused, this one has a more female flavour to it. Enjoy.

1) Living Proof (live)--Cat Power
Okay, so this does feature some of the worst dancing in history, but it is still a great version of a great song.

You're supposed to have the answer
You're supposed to have living proof
Well I am your answer I am living

2) This is Love--PJ Harvey

Pure rock and roll + girls with guitars= teh hotness!!1!1!!!1

3) Wake me up--Girls Aloud

We have hots girls lipsynching the words "you treat me rough to show that you care and I just can't refuse baby" while gyrating on motorcycles. Therefore it is simply impossible to dislike this video.

4) Rockit--Herbie Hancock

A classic. One of the earliest electronic songs to hit in America, following in the steps of German acts like Kraftwerk.

5) Galang--M.I.A.

A British Asian rapper who is the daugher of a Tamil Tiger, if I recall correctly, and a glorious mish-mash of politics, beats, and early 1990's fashion.

6) Start Wearing Purple--Gogol Bordello

Often cited as the best live act going today, I've missed out on them twice in London so far, since tickets sold out too quickly for me. Anyone out there seen them in person?

7) Where the Wild Roses Grow--Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue

Blood red roses and death. Who says romance is dead?

8) Random--Lady Sovereign

Brit-pop rap from the self-proclaimed "biggest midget in the game."

9) Do you sleep--Lisa Loeb

Naughty librarian glasses never, ever get old, even if the girls wearing them do.

10) Cross Bones Style--Cat Power

Another one from Chan Marshall, this time with bright fingernails.

11) Push the Button--Sugababes

Three hot girls, nuff said.

12) Donut Song--Tori Amos

Haunting song from the ethereal Tori Amos.

13) 9 to 5--Lady Sovereign

14) Walkin After Midnight--Patsy Cline

Classic and classy heartbreak from a tragic figure.

15) Henry Lee--PJ Harvey and Nick Cave

PJ Harvey looks amazing when she sings directly into the camera. Shudder.

16) Why--Annie Lennox

This is a question I ask myself everyday.

17) Waiting for the Night--Depeche Mode

And finally, you can't have a mix tape without some Depeche Mode on there somewhere.

Get her done!

I love this early footage of Larry the Cable Guy gittin' er done. This guy makes me embarassed to be from Nebraska. What a tosser.

Mix tape

I am officially a youtube junkie. Man, a guy could spend hours on there, and believe me, I have. One of the best things about it is being to not only see an endless stream of people getting hit in the groin by sports equipment or skateboards crashing, you can access numerous music videos. With that in mind, I thought I would whip up a quick mix tape of some videos I've been watching over the last few days.

1) Step into my office--Belle and Sebastian
2) Girl U Want--Devo
3) You're all I Need--Method Man and Mary J. Blige
4) Once in a Lifetime--Talking Heads
5) Dirty Day--U2
6) Baby I got your money--Ol Dirty Bastard
7) Opportunities--Pet Shop Boys
8) Dead Man's Party--Oingo Boingo
9) Take a chance on me--Erasure
10) Crazy--Gnarls Barkley

Certainly a lot of 1980's flavor on there, and I very much hesitated before putting Gnarls Barkley on the list due to the overhype surrounding him, but I love the Star Wars motif in the live performance.

Pet abuse

I think this officially qualifies you as unfit to be have pets in your family. Please, people, just don't this kind of stuff to your pets. Please. As ever, you can click the picture to get the full size version.

Is Andy gay? Oh, yeahhhhhhh!!!!

The other day, as I read the newspaper while laying on the floor in my room, the tender touch of sleepiness descended sweetly upon my head. Unable to fight back against the tide of that most gentle state of repose, I gave in, and caught some zzzzzz's (or, as they might say in England, some zed's). Now, you may remember that I mentioned that the heat around London has been stupendous, so much so that a steady stream of sweat has been issuing forth from my body both day and night. So it was scarcely shocking that I came back to consciousness drenched and in desperate need of a shower, which I immediately made my way towards. Disrobing, I noticed that the back of my formerly white shirt had a most delightful shade of pink running the length of its back.

As you may recall from my pictures, the carpet in my room is a rather dark shade of red, and my first inclination was to blame it on the dye bleeding onto my wet shirt. But I think the far more plausible explanation doesn't involve external factors, but rather internal ones. Instead of my sweat drawing the dye out from the carpet, thus allowing it to make the jump to my shirt, I posit that the sweat coming from my body was tinged with my hidden homoeroticism. My hidden gayness has become so pervasive and all-encompassing that it has gone beyond being merely a psychological state and has undergone transubstantiation: it has taken on tangible form and seeped into the very physical fiber of my being. I'm talking pink sweat here, compadres, and it makes me look like I spilled a glass of Pink Lemonade Kool-Aid on me. We're through the looking glass.

And I promise this is the last gay-themed post I'm going to put up for a while, since I'm starting to think that some people are taking my statements less as a joke and more as fact, which is a troubling trend. The comedic element rests with the ambiguity and over-exaggeration of things, but if people start to think I'm genuinely gay, instead of just playing at it, then the joke is spoilt, I think.

Life in the big city

Traffic in London is a bitch. Think there are ever any accidents at this intersection?

My neck hurts

I have this crazy problem with pinched nerves in my neck and back, and they usually zap me in the middle of the night, with the net result being that I find I can't really move my head to the right for a few days. Do you think I should try some alternative healing and try to massage the pain away?

Money well spent

Let's see, according to xe.com, 1 pound sterling is currently worth 1.89665 US dollars. Yup, that confirms it, this vending machine is officially one hell of a bargain.

Darkness Rising

In keeping with the theme of perishing children established in my previous post, I came across some exceptionally creepy graves at this cemetery I went to this weekend. How "Night of the Living Dead" is this place?
Particularly awesome is the fact that yes, that grave in the foreground is busted open, and it is hardly the only in a similar state of disrepair there. Some of the above-ground tombs have their lids complete broken in half, leaving the grave filled with water. I sort of wish that the bodies were still in there...sigh, a man can dream, can't he?

But back to the children, look at this grotesque baby-grave site. Christ, this was kind of stomach churning to see, and if Hollywood ever wants to really go over the top on a zombie movie, they should use a scene like this when corpses are re-animated.
You may have noticed a sinister mood running through this post, and I'll be honest, you would be correct. And there is only one place to lay the blame: Satanists. And really, what can't be reasonably blamed on those dodgy chaps? There is a burnt out husk of a church in the middle of this cemetery, and as I made my way towards it I heard the faint strains of gothic choral music wafting through the air. What the hell, right? Wait, here is a picture of the church you so can all imagine along with me.


Turns out that there were three people standing in front of the church with a boombox, blasting out their church music. Apparently I was just in time for the weekly Church of Our Dark Lord Beelzebub service, and being the considerate chap that I am, I didn't want to disturb them by taking pictures, so I went around to the back of the church to try and get some snapshots. Whoops, no luck round the back since there are two people about to have sex on that bench! Uh, maybe I'll come back a little later. After a half-hour walk I returned, and while the two people were still in pre-coital configuration, the Satanists were just packing up their Jukebox of Evil and getting ready to leave, allowing me to take a few photos of the remnants of the church. Walking just behind them, I overheard them talking about their plans for a wedding that was to take place at this church. Oh joy! I'd stumbled onto the set of the fucking Omen! Apparently a couple was looking forward to consummating their union, one set to give birth to Anti-Christ.

Hey, maybe it was that couple on the bench, actually, and that is why it was taking so long for them finally get to it...if you are going to bring about the Anti-Christ, you don't want him born out of wedlock, right? That's got to be some sort of badluck.

Best. Warning. Graphic. Ever.

This picture on a box of matches is, I feel, brilliant. The first rule of comedy is: Burning children are always funny.

So, am I Ace or Gary?

Anyone remember these guys? Anyone think I should join up?

Light duty

As everyone has probably noticed, there hasn't been much action on my blog recently, nor have I been keeping up on emails, either. I hope to catch up on things in the coming weeks, but things have been understandably hectic right now. I wanted to say thanks, though, to everyone who has passed along their best wishes, and I'm sorry I haven't written anybody back yet. With any luck you'll all be hearing from me soon.